I feel so lost right now. I feel like I can't find my footing in anything. I feel like I have a hold on my life and then an hour later it all falls to shit. I never thought life could feel like this - like you hit a point where you truly don't have the energy to find a way to fight through it. You feel exhausted that you keep getting thrown these daggers. I will be fine, I will feel at ease and happy and then boom i get jabbed with unnecessary drama. How the fuck do i get away from it? How do i erase it all from my life? You say you want me but then you are gone. Were you worried i fucked off again? No. I am sad because you were never mine in the beginning and you never will be. But somehow you dragged me through hell. I wish i could be strong and tell you to fuck off and mean it. I wish i didnt hurt while you were fine. It must be night to be so cold hearted.
I am dreaming of a destination where i can move away, start over - find myself again. I don't want to be here. I don't want to be anywhere near anything here. I don't want to take my friendships with me, or my lovers {past or current}. I want to find a way to leave it all. For now, because I am terrified of leaving, I will live in my dreams - of better days, of better times, of better people.
I feel so lost right now. I feel like I can't find my footing in anything. I feel like I have a hold on my life and then an hour later it all falls to shit. I never thought life could feel like this - like you hit a point where you truly don't have the energy to find a way to fight through it. You feel exhausted that you keep getting thrown these daggers. I will be fine, I will feel at ease and happy and then boom i get jabbed with unnecessary drama. How the fuck do i get away from it? How do i erase it all from my life? You say you want me but then you are gone. Were you worried i fucked off again? No. I am sad because you were never mine in the beginning and you never will be. But somehow you dragged me through hell. I wish i could be strong and tell you to fuck off and mean it. I wish i didnt hurt while you were fine. It must be night to be so cold hearted.
I am dreaming of a destination where i can move away, start over - find myself again. I don't want to be here. I don't want to be anywhere near anything here. I don't want to take my friendships with me, or my lovers {past or current}. I want to find a way to leave it all. For now, because I am terrified of leaving, I will live in my dreams - of better days, of better times, of better people.
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