Too Little Too Late

I am having my first of I assume many to come, lonely and off days. I have not taken time to deal with the ending of my relationship - and as I sit here typing, I still do not think that there will be a time when I will need to or even want to. It's just done - it's so done, it has been done for so long. But here I find myself with a pang of guilt for not feeling sad and I guess in a way, I am sad. I am sad that I am alone again. The hardest part are the nights laying at home alone - I have been on a cleaning and organizing road - it keeps me occupied and distracted from the fact that I am living this life alone. Of course there are my friends and my family and they mean the world to me, but sometimes it is not the same.